Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dark Times

Life is an extraordinary challenge right now.  I can't stand to be inside my body.  I just feel like I need a break.  The intense pain is throughout my spine--cervical, upper thoracic, and lumbar.  During the bad times of day, when the pain increases, I also get overwhelmed with feelings of nausea and general sickness.  The only place I get relief is by spending time in bed.  Even that doesn't help at times.  Then, I have to use the pain meds.  My level of functioning is essentially zero.  It is just such a difficult time.  I have no idea what all of these tests are going to show.  Will they be able to find out what's wrong?  Will it be something they can fix?

I just don't know.  I've had to give up working for now, and I'm missing out on things I'd really like to be doing.  I really hope it can be helped.  I feel like I'm losing everything.