Thursday, October 30, 2008

Well, it's been a pretty rough week. I'm having a lot of health problems as well as coping problems this week. But today was really bad. I missed work, because I was 98% unconscious for about 3 hours during the day. That was after I tried the cervical traction for my nausea. Coming out of the traction is really rough. Since then, the hot and cold flashes have been coming quickly, and dinner is making me nauseated, too. I could try traction again, but I hate coming out of it.

And, I'm supposed to drive home on Thursday nights, but that won't happen. I'll have to wait til tomorrow.

Also, I'm having a pretty rough time coping with everything right now. I feel the same way every day. I feel like this depression has been limiting my life for so long. I have trouble enjoying anything. I just keep trying to get the next day of my life overwith. I dread every single day of my life. And all I want to do is be done with the next day. I don't break down in tears every day, probably because of the mood stabilizers and anti-depressants, but it doesn't change the way I feel day in and day out. When will I be able to actually enjoy the part of my life that I'm currently in....and not just keep waiting for the good times to come. I've been doing that for as long as I can remember. And being sick, and then more sick, and then more sick, only makes it worse. There seems to be no help for me.