My head is exploding. It hurts all over. Even through my face. The pain is astoundingly intense. It really does feel like pressure pressing out around my skull: top of head, temples, and cheekbones are the worst. I also have pain throughout my body, too. The fatigue is very strong today, and the nausea is ever-present, as well. But, it is time for work. Luckily, only 2 lessons. I saw the psychiatrist today, which was altogether banal.
If only I could be having my head cut open and re-set today. Please????? I'll beg.
That's when you know you're ready for surgery: when you know what type of hell the surgery brings, and you'll do anything to get it. Then, you know it will be worth it to you. If your life is already so miserable that this outrageous surgery sounds better, then surgery is the right choice.
Depression continues, due to continuing symptoms and surgery rejection.
Good news: Gus and I put down a deposit on a new apartment, in Milwaukee. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure he chose the right place. It's tiny, but it has an underground garage for parking, an elevator, and central air!
Life goes on, whether or not my body is ready for it.
